count it all Joy

Hey friends, 

It’s been a little while since I’ve been on here to update about what’s been going on lately in life! I wish I could say it’s been butterflies and rainbows all day, every day but last week was actually significantly difficult. I was definitely facing a battle that in the moment felt wrecking but on the other side of it, I have seen a sweet revelation and so much of God’s beautiful work in my life.

Last week started with my car basically falling apart & me having to leave it in another state to be fixed and in the meantime manage with a rental car. From there I just felt like it all snowballed. I felt like I was failing in all areas of my life, I struggled with finding time to connect with people I wanted to connect with and ultimately just battling the enemies lies all around. 

Later in the week I had a dream, which I never remember my dreams, but this one I did. I was intently swimming against the current in what looked like dirty swamp water. Brush and trash floating in disgusting dark waters, and best of all, an alligator. Yeah, that’s a no for me. But the craziest thing happened… I see an alligator coming straight towards me and we swim right past each other without either of us skipping a beat in our paths. I remember seeing clearer water ahead and my eyes just locked and focused on that. – Now once I’m awake and aware, I begin thinking “What the heck!” Never in my life would that situation go that way, me just swimming right past that alligator completely unafraid or unscathed. I know for a fact if it had been real life, I would be planning every escape route possible. 

Not too long ago I did a study through Hebrews and after this dream I was reminded of these verses – 

12:1 // Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.

12:5-7 // My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives. It is for discipline that you have to endure.

I recalled these verses and immediately fell to my knees. I realized that sin was weighing on me and it felt like it was all snowballing because it wasn’t going the way I expected it to go. I so badly just wanted to plan my way out of every challenge I was facing and “will” what was never mine to will. I confessed to that stronghold of control and wholeheartedly asked forgiveness over the ways I had tried to manage it all on my own. I had to lay that down and truly trust and rely on God in EVERY area of my life. Not just say that in a casual Christian way but truly mean that, deeply. I realized there is not one thing I can do that will change the course of anything. And that’s not to sound dark, so hear me out on this, but what I mean is that I can’t just “will” things to happen by my planning or my works alone. There is no amount of human work that is better than the work of the Lord.

James 1:2-4 // Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

With my mission team we have all talked about how support raising and preparation for our trip thus far has looked so different from each other. And we talked about how that’s because the Lord is teaching us all such different things to prepare our hearts to serve! And I can’t help but think that the Lord just loves us so much and He is teaching us all discipline, as a loving Father should, and ultimately helping us come closer to completion, lacking nothing. I know He is doing that in my life. I already have felt so much more equipped to serve and I know this is only the beginning of the work He has planned. This week has already been seen with new eyes and a new heart. I have a spirit of excitement in me about disciple that I can’t always say was there. 

I’m sure there are a lot of ways this could be interpreted but I just go back and think of me swimming in that uncharted murky swamp water, and how in a way that resembled me wanting things done my way but the Lord’s will being so much stronger and better. How wanting my own will and my own ways are going in the direction with the current and the alligator. And in all reality, all that is in that direction is murky meaninglessness, filled with dirty brush and danger. As hard as it may seem sometimes to swim upstream, unafraid and unapologetically set on the race before us, when we lock our eyes on the Lord it all becomes pretty clear. There is nothing better than being in the will of God and knowing that the Lord is the One sufficient enough to guide us against the current to clearer water, unscathed.

His ways and His works are always better and more sufficient in every way possible. 

So I am locking my eyes on HIM.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – 

Thank you for reading, I know it was a bit long but I felt super compelled to share how the Lord is moving and preparing my heart daily for this mission! I am beyond thankful for those who have partnered with me already in this journey, seriously I am speechless by your generosity and feel emboldened by all the prayer warriors I know are praying for me. Just pure gratitude radiating from my heart!!

& I hope to have more and more conversations with all who see this!! I am praying that the Lord works in your life in BIG ways too!!

LETS CONNECT FRIENDS // 480-815-6167 // [email protected]